The ride home down the winding back roads through Macon seemed to fly by as we all chatted away in the back of my mom’s SUV. I’m sure she had to be a little annoyed, we were probably loud and I know we didn’t really take breaths in between switching subjects and rambling on about something we liked. She was nice enough to let us stop off at Kroger though. We bought drinks, cookies, and potato chips to feed an army, or five kids that planned to stay up all night playing video games and watching random movies we had all seen several times already.
David wanted to stop and drop his costume off first. I had a feeling he’d be going as Optimus Prime for several more years with as much time as he put into that thing. He never did go in that costume again though, not hard to put together why. If I had to bet, I’d think that even all of these years later it’s sitting somewhere in storage; too important to throw away, too devastating to keep close.
We arrived at the house. I put up my costume and changed clothes as the guys grabbed the game consoles and movies they wanted. With arms full of material possessions we considered most valuable at the time we made our way through the yard and near the edge of the woods. Just before the old run-down dog pens my dad built a white metal building with two small windows and its own generator sat against the tree line.
I turned the lights on and checked that everything was working. David immediately went to the TV and started hooking up the games while Brian set up the drinks and snacks along one of the hardly touched work benches. Stan and Derek were talking as both plopped down on the old brown couch, leaving us to sit in the stools or the old beanbag chair from my room. They were discussing the trip the youth group was taking in December up to go skiing.
“I’m gonna fire up Star Fox,” David said handing us each a controller.
“Nah lets watch a movie.”
“Which one,” Brian asked Derek. “I know we’ve seen all the ones you grabbed.”
“We should watch Goldfinger again.” Stan really did like all of the James Bond movies.
I was about to pitch my idea when there was a knock at the door. After a second it swung open and my mom stepped in looking us over. I’m not sure if she thought she’d find anything else really, but after she was satisfied she turned to me.
“Jason I’m going to bed, I have that meeting in the morning, early.” I nodded. “And Stan, your mom wants me to drop you off by your house on the way, so I’ll come get you, just be ready to go.”
“Yes, Misses Blunt.”
Derek and Brian smiled at my mom. She smiled back and took one last look around.
“Don’t mess up any of your father’s things.”
“Yes ma’am,” I said as she nodded and shut the door behind her. I saw her begin the uphill walk back to the house with the lights on in the living room windows. It wasn’t much longer that I noticed the lights in the house had gone off and my mother had gone to bed.
“So what did we decide on,” Brian asked as he popped open a soda.
“Don’t think we did,” I reminded as I took a seat and picked up a controller. I’d mess around until everyone else could decide. David was excited about playing the game though so he soon followed and then Stan did as well. We played for several minutes until David tried to get either Brian or Derek to join in with us.
“We should go do something,” Derek said looking out one of the small windows across the darkness of the yard. “Its Halloween night and we are just sitting around.”
“We are doing something,” David remarked as he performed a barrel roll on the video game.
“Not what I meant twerp,” Derek called out to the youngest one of us. I never completely understood their relationship the way it was but they got as long as well as Brian and I did, it was just different. “Let’s go do something.”
I was preparing to side with David, as I usually did. I was perfectly content with staying in and playing games and doing what we always did. Maybe it was because of what night it was, or that we had done the same thing so many times and secretly we all, or most of us at least, wanted the cycle to be broken. I’ve thought about what made us leave the safety of that shed in our usually safe neighborhood for fifteen years and I’ve never come up with an opinion on it better than just ‘fate’.
“We could go for a walk in the woods.” Why would I say that. I didn’t like that idea. And with time to think upon it I shouldn’t have with that feeling I got earlier that day. It was out there though and Derek, Brian, and Stan were all about it.
“Awesome, grab the flash light,” Derek said as he crossed the room to where he had placed his helmet and bat from his baseball player costume. He picked up the bat and slid it up under his shoulder, his arm holding it in place as he looked for his jacket.
“I don’t,” my concerns were not only ignored but intercepted by both Derek and Brian.
“You said your mom was asleep right.”
“We won’t be gone that long.”
How could I argue. David tried with his eyes but before I knew it I had the Maglite in my hand and we had all grabbed snacks stuffed in our pockets. We were in the woods in a few footfalls since it was so close. I was going to take them down my normal path, I knew how to navigate it without the flashlight even. We could go to the creek and watch the water flow under the moonlight, it looks cool like that. Mostly we’d just throw rocks and talk about random things.
“We should go this way,” Derek interrupted my thoughts.
“huh? Since when do you know these woods.”
“What, you don’t want to try something new?” The others couldn’t seem to think of any reason not to agree with Derek’s suggestion. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t like this idea. Before I could think of what to say, if I could have thought of something to dissuade them, it didn’t come to me. Soon I found myself watching the others walk in front of me instead of me leading the group.
David started up some random conversation about a comic book he had read that finally explained something that happened fifty-five issues ago. Brian and I argued that there was no way that the writer could have set that up because they had switched writing teams since them. Soon Stan and Derek were talking about some old Corvette his dad was restoring and that he wouldn’t let Stan touch. It seemed pretty fun actually, we hadn’t wandered too far from the tree line. I could have led us out at any point. This was fun, I wasn’t sure why I had that feeling at the beginning.
That was until I saw Derek slowing down, looking around. He wasn’t aimlessly wandering, trying to play it cool. He was looking for a specific path that wasn’t mine, and wasn’t one he knew well or maybe at all.
“What is it,” I questioned stepping forward.
“Give me a second.” He was quick to be defensive.
“Where are we going,” Brian asked as Stan picked at something oddly off-colored on a near-by tree.
David started to yawn but stopped abruptly at hearing Derek’s frustrated question.
“Which way to Dana’s house?”
“What,” we said almost as a collective in our own ways. “What do you mean,” it had already come together though. “You wanted to go there the whole time. You just didn’t want to ask me to lead you. Why do you want to go there?”
“Just to,” Derek was never great with words unless he was trying to woo someone. “See if we can see her. Just take a peek, snoop around.”
“Dude, that’s not cool.”
“No, it’s a sweet idea.”
Brian’s words almost threw me off guard. It wasn’t that I couldn’t see him agreeing with Derek, more to the point that I thought he’d see how this could go wrong. He wasn’t the most careful person in the world but I didn’t think he’d jump in head first like this.
“Ok,” Stan chimed in. “Let’s do it. Could be cool.”
I wasn’t surprised at Stan either. “But guys,” my plea was unheard and poorly put together to be honest. I couldn’t think of a real reason not to go other than the fear of getting caught. The only person that I knew would side with me against doing it was David. He was getting tired and he was never up for doing anything that had the slightest remote possibility of getting you in trouble. He was younger too and didn’t care about girls in the slightest yet, it seemed. So you can imagine my shock when he just shrugged and made a sound that was probably supposed to sound like ‘I don’t care’ through the mumbling.
“Come on, I know it has gotta be around here somewhere,” Derek said with his thumb jerked in the general direction.
They were all looking at me now. I was the only one that could lead them to her house without them having to go out to the road first, even then in the dark the others might not remember what it looked like. I could though, I passed it every day and always seemed to look at it as we drove by. The pause while they all stared at me didn’t help, this was the peer pressure I had been warned of, it was just if someone was offering me drugs at least it’d be more evident and I wouldn’t have agreed.
“Alright, let’s go.” In agreeing I had to convince myself I wasn’t doing this because I was hoping to catch a glance of her.
I was a fourteen year old boy going on fifteen and it was something I secretly wanted to see, even if I wasn’t willing to admit it to the others at the time. We had our own odd conversations about girls and sex from time to time. Derek usually starting most of them and I think they made David a little uncomfortable. Derek told a famous story about him hanging out with Sybil and Sterling Jessup, the twins. They were apparently hanging out by the pool one day and the way Derek tells the story is Sybil convinced them to all go skinny-dipping. He’s told that story more times than I can count, but the truth was that he was the only one of us that had ever seen a girl naked that wasn’t in a magazine or on National Geographic television shows.
I took the lead and showed them the way. I seemed to be the groups guide in many ways, but tonight I was leading them the wrong way, even if it was the way they wanted to go. I had thrown my own cards in though with my desires. I had given our blessing on our trip and I’d regret that moment for the rest of my life.
Dana’s house, or rather her Grandfather’s, was the last one down past mine in the cul-de-sac. It was a two story house with old grey Sears vinyl siding and was one of the only one without any Halloween decorations. Their backyard was really just a big steep hill that stretched to the woods, and that was where we came out. From the back of the house we could see two sets of lights on. Both lights were upstairs on different sides, which made since because it was close to midnight. We saw the light on the right die out, we took a guess that it was her grandfather’s room.
We were moving quietly, stepping over sticks and trying not to crunch leaves. The moon was bright, but not quite full. Clouds were moving over head as the winds blew and beat against our faces. It wasn’t cold as much as it seemed the night was uppity and uncaring. We moved silently, communicating with our eyes and small gestures as we circled the house. The noises of the night didn’t scare us away as much as it masked our approach. We were probably quieter than we needed to be, so careful where we placed our heels.
We all paused under her window. The others weren’t as sure but I knew it was hers. On the slowed ground we had an almost perfect view into her room. The white walls were off-set by thing purple curtains on the sides that had been pulled back and several pictures and posters hung about her walls. A ceiling fan held four globes of light with only two shining that lit up the room. We stared for a few minutes and watched. I thought we might have expected too much or wasted a trip until Derek pointed out that her door had opened. It was hard to see but he was right, I saw it close back slowly. Perhaps calling this a waste was brash.
“What am I,” David tried to ask in a hushed voice before we all turned at close to the same time to shush him.
We all looked up in time to see Dana come into view brushing her hair. She really was beautiful, and she seemed so humble about it, not like Jessica who was less naturally attractive and tried to push it on you more. Dana had this smile. She had an air about her that made her seem like she was the eye of the hurricane, nothing effected her. Everything else just passed her by and was pushed away. She seemed to know no chaos but what she wanted there. Maybe I’m glamorizing it a little but I remember being in a world where only she and I existed for a moment. It was like the other guys weren’t there, but for all I knew I wasn’t there to them at that moment either.
She vanished from view again and my heart sank. Ok, so I am probably remembering it a little more romanticized than it really was. There was that second though. I lived so close and I never came down to see her. Was I betraying myself all this time? Did I have feelings for this girl other than her being the beautiful girl that I had seen all of those times.
I heard either Brian or Stan sigh, wasn’t sure which one. Perhaps they were expecting more but I had just wished I could watch her brush her hair some more. I’m not sure if what happened next answered my wishes or just leapt over them. When Dana appeared back in the window, between it and her closet, she began unbuttoning her shirt. I saw David’s mouth fall open out of the corner of my eyes on the right, on the left Brian’s smile got wider as each button came apart from its cloth captor. Soon the red and white flannel shirt she was wearing cascaded down her shoulders and was peeled from her wrists.
She was left standing there with her beautiful brown hair falling lock by lock onto her bare skin. Her off-white colored bra almost the same color of her skin, enough to excite us with its appeal to resemble the tone of her flesh. The shirt was a distant memory now though as she paused, not aware she was posing for us. She turned her back to the window and her hands reached up to the back of the bra, fingering the clasp and quickly popping it free. Her shoulders shrugged as the straps fell to each side, leaving a soft pair of creases in her skin.
“Dude,” Derek let slip loose in a quiet whisper.
We waited with baited breath. Soon Derek wouldn’t be in his exclusive club with his one great story. We were sharing a story at that moment and my blood was pumping. We just had to see her turn around for it to all be perfect. She turned but not in the way we were begging. She vanished behind the wall again and when she came back there was a new tan colored shirt that was quickly wrapped around her. She turned and looked over her shoulder out the window.
“What,” Derek said out loud. “Come on,” I heard Stan agreeing with him.
I’m not exactly sure how loud they were; admittedly I was a little distracted and saying similar things in my mind. Her look though, even knowing she couldn’t have really heard us, made us usher each other back further into the darkness away from the house.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Brian said. “That was almost perfect, it was sweet.”
We were far back enough there was no way anyone could hear us. I heard the others talking and couldn’t help but notice David was quiet. I shouldn’t have been surprised but I wanted to make sure.
“You ok?”
“Yeah,” he told me with a slow nod, not actually looking at me. His eyes were still fixed on Dana’s window.
I was about to chime in with the others but saw the other light come back on. I elbowed Brian and tried to motion to the others. We saw the light and then saw Dana moving again. We moved a bit closer and as we approached we could hear the second knock on the door, it had to be her Grandfather.
“Should we go?”
“There’s no way that old man could have heard us.”
Derek was right, but that feeling was coming back. I was getting a little worried. The others didn’t want to move though, I could see it by how intently they stared. The door swung open and an angry visage stood in the doorway. Her Grandfather glared down at her in his gray pajama suit. Honestly, he always looked like that. He could have been thanking her for something and I’d have been none the wiser. It wasn’t long before he confirmed it though. He waved an arm and yelled at her. We couldn’t make out what was going on but I noticed Dana held her cordless phone up in her hand as she argued with him. They argued back and forth, it was odd seeing Dana frustrated and upset, very different from her normal demeanor.
“What’s going on,” David whispered in my ear. I didn’t know what to tell him though, I just shook my head.
Finally the conversation stopped and her Grandfather shut the door. She looked frustrated and put the phone back down before making a face of agitation. I felt for her, for her anguish. Though my mom and I had never gotten into many arguments at all my dad and I had it out a few times and of course he was never wrong.
She went back towards her door and her hand brushed the light switch. The tan shirt fitting around her loosely, moving with her body as the light went out and she plopped down on her bed. There was a pause before the second light went off again and the house fell still and quiet. The odd thing was we were quiet too. The hush that had fallen on Dana’s house had affected us as well, until Derek spoke up and said something we were all thinking.
“He’s a dick to her too much, we should teach him a lesson.”
---
“What are you suggesting,” I asked with concern in my voice. “You want one of us to sneak in there and do what exactly?”
Derek jerked his finger at Brian, his motion building up the enthusiasm of the plan. “Brian’s pretty much still in his costume, his face is still smudged up and painted and he he’s mostly covered.” Brian nodded, agreeing he was the best choice. “Brian climbs up there,” he pointed to the lattice structure on the back of the house. “He sneaks in through the middle window, see how it is slightly open?” It was, and it almost looked as if the house had made our plans very inviting. “He takes this,” Derek said holding up the baseball bat he had been carrying with him, “and spooks the old man. Scare him shitless.”
“That sounds dangerous,” David finally said something. “What if he has a heart attack or something?”
“David’s right, a lot could go wrong.” I said my piece but was immediately confronted by Brian’s accusing stare.
“What, you don’t think I can do it?”
“Sure he does,” Derek answered for me. “And before you spook him, see if Dana’s room is unlocked.”
“What do you want him to do, grab a pair of her panties,” Stan said almost as a joke.
“That’s a great idea.”
I didn’t like this. The plan seemed simple but there were so many variables. Brian wanted to do it though, he felt like he had something to prove. Maybe he thought he could be the hero.
“What if David’s right,” I had to try something. “What if Brian scaring him gives the old man a heart attack. He’s old as hell.”
“Guy survived Vietnam, and he’s mean as sin, nothing is going to kill him.” Brian and Stan both nodded agreeing with David’s remark.
“Maybe I should go, I’m quicker than Brian,” and those words were my last mistake in that ordeal. Now Brian felt more challenged by someone he considered his equal.
“I’m doing this,” Brian said, determined.
Brian took the bat from Derek and turned back to the house. He eyed his path as I thought for something else to say, there had to be another way to argue this with him. In my wildest dreams they called the cops, Dana hated us for breaking into her room, or worse her Grandfather had to be put in the hospital. I hated myself for thinking that if the last one happened she could come live with us for a while, and that there was a silver lining in everything.
“You got this,” Derek said encouragingly. I felt like I should have been chiming in as well but nothing came out.
He took his first few steps before pausing and looking up at the house. I’m not sure if he was having second thoughts at this point or just making sure the lattice structure would hold him. Either way none of us spoke but our collective breath was held in anticipation. The soft release coming when his hand reached up and pulled his body up that first rung. His legs pushed and his arms pulled, Brian was able to do it fine. He tightened his jacket around him, zipping it up. He slid the wooden baseball bat into the back of the bomber jacket and made sure it wasn’t going to give him any trouble while climbing.
He climbed quietly and reached the window. This was the only part it looked like he had some trouble, more figuring out how he was going to pull himself up than the actual act of doing it. He hung there for a moment before managing to get his elbow up on the ledge where he could support his weight. His free hand slid the window open quietly. There was another pause as he lifted himself up and fell head first into the window, controlling his speed with his elbows so he didn’t make a noise or straight out fall in. I watched as my best friend disappeared into the house and gave us a quick thumbs up through the open window. Then he was gone.
To this day I’m still not sure what exactly happened with Brian in that house. I know he never made it into Dana’s room. I know Dana, nor her Grandfather, ever realized that it was Brian or any of us for that matter, but they both saw “the intruder” as he would be called that night. From what Brian would tell me over a year later he went to scare the old man, just like they planned. I guess once a soldier, always a soldier. Brian had a mark on his eye when we saw him so I’d have to assume he either ran into something or got belted. There were more reasons than just pride that he refused to talk about it. I imagine though that Brian was caught off guard by quick the old man reacted upon being woken up from slumber into a scare. I imagined him having something by his bed, his old hand still strong and cracking Brian across the eye with something.
That was all in retrospect though. I can imagine Brian running out of the house, not knowing the layout he went the only way he knew how to. With Captain Crowne in full pursuit and swinging at him though he lost his grip. We saw him step out from the window quickly, his mostly cloaked face turned and his eyes looked at the old swinging juggernaut gaining on him. We saw some type of an object, it looked like it might have been the butt of a gun, or a club. Whatever it was Brian didn’t want to get hit by it again and he leaned back to far and fell.
I watched in horror as my best friend fell over two stories down from the window. His arc through the air hurt him further, as his body fell at the bottom of the hill, falling further than it would have on either side of the house. He landed awkwardly, and I know I wasn’t the only one that mentioned remembering the cringe-worthy sound from the impact. His body flopped and rolled over fully twice, planting him well under the overlapping trees.
I wanted to run to him but fear gripped me. Captain Crowne was looking out the window now and Derek put his arms out to each side to stop Stan and I from moving.
“Dana, get me my flash light.”
“What’s going on Grandpa?”
I heard their exchange as the old man’s eyes searched the woods. He looked up and down at the base of the hill from his window perch. I was stunned, I wasn’t moving. I didn’t want to get caught but I wanted to go to my friend. What if he was hurt? Luckily Stan was thinking. He motioned for us to fall back more. I didn’t want us to retreat and just leave Brian there, I couldn’t do that. He didn’t want us to leave though. Like a real military strategist he was planning to fall back and loop around behind Brian. The trees would protect us from the old man’s sights.
We followed Stan, slowly. I thought I heard David sniffling. Maybe he was crying, or it could have been his allergies. I couldn’t worry about that right now. As we moved further away from Brian I imagined him in the hospital and this thought did not sit well with me. I closed my eyes and re-focused. Stan had the right idea. We were coming up to Brian and I could almost see him. A light flashed from the window and caused all of us to pause. Captain Crowne now had his flashlight, and much like in the jungle he knew someone was hiding in the brush with bad intentions. I don’t know exactly how long he searched with that beaming bright light, but he was up top then down below.
We all felt the trepidation of proceeding any further but there was no telling how long that old man would keep searching. He might never give up. We had to do something though. We could see Brian’s body not moving. David started to stand. Stan and Derek quickly jerked him back down with angry glances. He said something below a whisper. It wasn’t hard to make out though. He thought we should have told him. Maybe we should have.
I’ve thought day in and day out what might have been different if we had just run out there. If we had just waved our arms and yelled for help, he could have called an ambulance or maybe even knew some emergency medicine himself. Now with a bit more clarity over the whole situation in my mind I realize there was nothing he could have done. Nothing any of us could have done. And at that moment I was too afraid of getting caught.
Derek and Stan were slowly moving up. I left David and came up behind them, realizing what they were doing. Brian’s body was covered just enough by the canopy of leaves. We pulled him in by the boots on his feet and brought him over to us. Before I really got a good look at Brian something else caught my eye, a lighter colored object that had been revealed when we slid him. Derek’s bat lay just above Brian’s head just two or three feet away. The handle of the bat was darker than the rest with something that seemed to almost shine under the moonlight. Blood.
“Brian,” Stan whispered. I repeated his name even softer, almost a whimper.
He was pale. Even under the bright white light of the moon he looked paler than he should. We were kids. We didn’t know what to do. Our friend had fallen and he wasn’t responding. I wasn’t even sure if the others had seen the bat, seen what I had seen. It didn’t matter though. Stan put his hand under Brian’s head to raise it, thinking maybe he needed air, when he pulled his hand back though it was wet with blood. The red liquid stained his hand and caused him to quietly panic, mouth gaping open, hand trembling. This is the moment where we all began to freak out.
The light from Crowne’s window disappeared. He had finally given up his search, but it was much too late. We still didn’t want to be heard and fear shook us all. Before I knew it I was trying to pick up his body, a moment later Derek was helping me as we carried him away from the house and back further into the woods. I wanted to take him back to my house, to call my mom. She’d know what to do. We were heading that way until I felt Derek pull in another direction.
“What are you,” I shot out but he growled at me.
“We can’t go back to your place.”
“He needs help,” I exclaimed in a voice I almost didn’t recognize as my own. “He needs a doctor.” I didn’t know how I would accomplish this but it was going to be done.
We were moving down into the clearing as Derek realized I was still trying to go back to my house.
“Stop,” he said with the loudest tone any of us had used that night. “We can’t go to your mother!”
I was emotional, irrational, and wasn’t thinking clearly. I’m not sure if it was my fault or Derek’s, we were both pulling. I fell down and Brian’s body fell almost on top of me.
“No,” I yelled as I slid out from underneath him with as much fierce speed as I could. I yelled his name again as I looked down, horrified at the sight of my best friend. He was lying there and unmoving.
David was the first one to act. He reached forward and placed two fingers on the side of Brian’s neck. He left his fingers there for a moment and then placed them on his wrist. Finally he leaned down and placed his ear to Brian’s chest. I was about to say something as Derek pushed me with his hands hitting flat against my chest.
“You couldn’t just follow me,” Derek was angry, and had a desire to be the alpha male. “We could have helped him.”
The tone of his voice told me he wasn’t as mad at me as the situation. In a different scenario I would have swung on Derek at that moment but something told me he was beating himself up already. The truth was, although it was Derek, Stan, and even Brian himself that wanted this the most, the only person I blamed was me.
“He’s dead,” David choked out. The words didn’t register, maybe not even to the person that said them. “I can’t, I can’t hear his heart, nothing, no pulse either.” David’s lip quivered as he forced the words, “what do we do?”
“Dead,” Stan asked disbelieving.
“The bat,” I said finally. “When he fell his head hit the bat.”
“He can’t be dead,” Stan said motioning down to Brian.
Derek turned and started to walk back the way we came.
“What are you doing,” my question was almost yelled. It had barely registered that Brian was dead and I couldn’t believe Derek was walking away.
“I’m getting the bat,” he said with an almost scary calmness to his voice. “If it has blood on it, it’s not a good idea to leave it out there.” He took in a sharp breath. “I need it anyway, that old man mis-treats Dana and he just killed our friend.” He balled up his fist and stepped towards me. “Brian’s dead, he’s dead. Don’t you get that?”
“And killing him is the answer,” David asked finally coming to grips. “We need to call our parents, we need to call the police.” He paused and stood yelling. “We should have told Mr. Crowne like I said!”
“Shut up David!”
“Jesus Derek,” Stan interjected. “Don’t bite his head off. He’s right, we should be telling someone, not trying to cover this up.”
“Guys,” my voice cracked and I gave up right then, I couldn’t speak. My eyes just lingered down on my broken friend. Brian’s expression was a little bit of a shocked look and a tinge of pain in his eyes. He was scared when he went back out that window, Crowne scared him, and he fell and died like this. I couldn’t understand why this happened. It was just supposed to be a harmless joke, a prank, funny.
Derek stopped. I fell to my knees. Stan and David were talking to each other but I couldn’t hear, or more accurately not understand them. Derek joined back in on their argument and I know at one point Stan asked me to back him up. I didn’t respond though, I couldn’t. My eyes were fixated on Brian’s face and my hand was shaking. None of us had cell phones whatever we decided to do we needed to carry him. It was cold and I wasn’t going to leave my best friend out here in the cold. What a silly thought considering the full situation.
I don’t know why I did. Now that I’m much older I kind of realize that it is stupid for me not to believe in God or at least the potential of the God-like entity. Then though, church was my place to socialize and keep in good with my parents. When you aren’t going to church regularly your parents always think you’re up to more bad stuff then you really are. I never really understood that. For some reason though, right then and there I began to pray. My eyes didn’t close, they never left Brian. My heart reached out though. My mind raced and thought of him, thought of what happened and how sorry I was. I was so genuinely upset and sorry but the thing that came through the most was my pleading.
I begged. I begged God not to take my friend or to take me instead. I begged and offered everything up as sacrifice. I told him I’d never sin again, that I’d give up anything I held of value if he’d just leave me my family and friends. I was solidly stuck in the third stage of grieving and was determined that if I did this one right I wouldn’t have to go any further down the list. I had already done the denial part, that’s expected. Derek and I got mad at each other when we weren’t really mad at each other but at what happened. That’s two.
I know I wasn’t the only one begging and bargaining. I know that for sure, and not just because David said it out loud at one point. No, as I gazed down at my best friend’s cold lifeless body we all hoped and prayed for his safe return. I prayed to God, I prayed in general. I was willing to do anything to bring him back and as it turned out so were the others. We might have been angry at each other right then, angry for letting ourselves talk each other into a position where he got hurt. We loved each other though, through everything, even all the little differences and all of our mistakes.
The ground was cold but suddenly it grew colder. We all shivered but they didn’t seem to notice. I stopped my praying to whomever would listen and looked up at the sky. Something flew in and out of the bright circular light in the shape of the moon. Birds, large black birds that landed on the near-by trees. A devastating thought hit my mind, were they here for Brian? I wouldn’t let anyone or anything hurt him. I stood up from my knees, thinking I’d soon need to protect my friend; even if he was already dead. Derek was saying something about calling the police on Captain Crowne and Stan was trying to convince him to just run to the nearest house and ask to use the phone.
“My dad is going to kill me,” Stan said but there was just no meaning behind that phrase when someone had actually died right there in front of you. Brian wasn’t going to go home and his parents were never going to see him again unless you counted the funeral.
David wasn’t saying anything. He had since given up the argument realizing that no one was in a position to want to listen. That wasn’t why he was quiet now though, he realized the same thing I did. Between Derek and Stan’s bickering there was something strange.
“Quiet,” I called out.
I was surprised they listened and stopped but maybe they thought I was about to tell them what they should do. I was the leader of the group in a strange way, I kept everyone together. This was my biggest test for that.
There was silence. When everyone had stopped talking there was complete silence and it was deafening. I would have never compared myself to a survivalist or even a great hunter but I spent my fair share of time in the woods and I know this wasn’t right. The only time the animals were quiet was when a stronger predator was around and they felt endangered. We weren’t that predator though. There were no sounds from the insects or the birds or even a distant howl. There were at least three birds above us in the trees but they said nothing, they made no sound. Those large black birds just kept looking down on us, eyeing us strangely.
The animals weren’t it though, the night itself seemed to have been hushed or gagged by some unseen force or prospect we missed. There was no wind like there was earlier. I couldn’t hear the trees moving even slightly. I cupped my ear and heard nothing at all. Everyone was looking at me for answers but no one said anything. Even if they didn’t grasp the full scope of the silence they could tell something was wrong. We were out here in the woods with a dead friend and suddenly we weren’t sure if there was something else wrong. I was about to comment on the silence when someone else’s voice broke it.
“Well hello there fellas.”
The voice that called out wasn’t one of ours, and it sent a shiver down all of our spines.
