Every fall the changing leaves remind me of Brian’s dead body. The orange, tans, browns, and faded greens all mix together in a dull collage of that night, the night they had formed an eerie wreath around his pale lifeless body. As we stood there and looked upon the body more leaves fell on him. The wind carried them over and scattered them across his skin as if to camouflage him from what happened. We all approached in what felt like slow motion. There was a deafening silence that only the wind dared break. It bellowed against our ears and sent a shiver through us all that shook deep.
His eyes were dark under the night sky and that blackness burned holes into my memory. I can remember him laying there on the leaves in that old brown bomber jacket clear as day. I had never seen a dead person in my life before; my best friend was my first. Every year around this time I start to see his dead face creeping back into my mind. It’s bothered me for the last sixteen years. The cold wasn’t the only think making me shake though. I knew that I couldn’t hide from the truth any longer. Soon, I would have to watch Brian die a second time, for good this time.
***
We were so much more innocent back then, most of us at least. It was 1995 and we were all fourteen years old, except for David who was thirteen, but we were all in the same grade because of when our birthdays fell. It was the eighth grade, high school was quickly approaching and we had no clue how much of our lives should have been ahead of us. My name is Jason Blunt and I had lived in Macon Georgia since I was four and had known my best friend Brian Sloan just as long. We just clicked, and our parents were glad to support this new blossoming friendship because both families were new to the area. We met at an old Pentecostal church in what had recently become a bad part of town. It was the same place we met Stan Davis two years later.
The three of us grew up together over the next few years hanging out and attending the same school. Stan’s parents weren’t always cool with him hanging out with us and we were never sure why. It seemed strange to us and his father was always trying to give us advice and talk to us about Christ when we would watch James Bond movies or ask to go to the arcade. We hung out when we could though and church was always a good excuse to do just that, one that anyone’s parents would have trouble denying us. As we grew older the church was trying to build up its youth population so under a fresh out of college youth pastor named Pierce we formed the new youth group with a few others.
None of us were really into the whole religion thing that much, church was a means to an end. Stan was probably the most God fearing out of all of us, but that was probably because of his dad. We all liked Pierce, he tried to relate to us and not talk down to you when you didn’t know something or made a mistake. The youth group had become what Pierce wanted it to, a safe haven for a group of kids to get along and discuss the pains of growing up. For us though, it had centered on us and become our own personal social pool.
Derek was athletic and his parents were driving him to go all the way on a scholarship in football, he was having trouble telling his dad that he was more interested in wrestling. Derek came across a bit egotistical but he was good at heart. He saved David from catching a beating one day in the seventh grade and the two had been friends ever since then. They were the perfect example of opposites attracting in unconventional circumstances. Even though Derek knew all of the other jocks and the pretty girls, which made us just a bit jealous, he never ignored us or pretended we didn’t exist. That was what mattered.
Derek and David joined the youth group with us. They appreciated the outlet as much as we did. It didn’t hurt that Derek liked Dana and Jessica. The two girls of the youth group had been at the church almost as long as I had. I always wondered if that was why I was never attracted to them like the others were. They felt like my sisters in a way. I never knew that Dana liked me until well into college but we were just never meant to be.
Even Derek had trouble approaching Dana though. Part of that was her grandfather. Her parents had been killed in a car accident when she was only eight years old, it was heartbreaking. She went to live with her grandparents but at the age of twelve her grandmother died when she went in for heart surgery. Captain Lou Crowne, Dana’s grandfather, sued that doctor for everything that he could. His pain had become anger and he took it out on everyone. It didn’t help that the man’s first tour of duty was at the end of Vietnam. He wouldn’t talk about the war or his time in the military. He was just angry and bitter at everything. The deacons of the church even had to ask him to step down from his position on the church council because of how he treated everyone.
Dana herself could barely stand him. She was always doing something wrong in his eyes and he wouldn’t let her date or even have boys call the house. Once, the captain had even insinuated that the youth pastor of all people was trying to court her which didn’t sit well with Pierce’s wife Shelia. Jessica was the only one Dana could really hang out with outside of school or church.
Her grandfather thought since Jessica was a girl from a good family his precious offspring was safest with her. That was a laugh. Jessica was a rebellious kid who had a drunk for a mother and a closet homosexual father. Her mother’s misery had been passed down and Jessica was convinced that unless she could marry a rich husband or make it in acting or something like that she was doomed for a pathetic life. Her dad was a highly recommended local dentist with his own practice and her mother loved the money he had made, he was good with money. Jessica had decided that after trying her mother’s stash of alcohol at twelve that at fourteen marijuana would be her new addiction of choice. She had dated mostly older boys and although Dana was pretty good at keeping her mouth shut we had all heard that Jessica had already given multiple blowjobs to boys at the school she went to. Jessica was anything but a good influence on Dana and was constantly talking about all of the new things she was trying with boys or with drugs. I know Dana had tried to pot at least once but I think that was it.
We all had problems. I was struggling in school and my teachers were trying to convince my parents I had ADD or a learning disability of some type. My mom was pretty wise on the subject though, she knew I could do it; I just needed to put my mind to it more. Brian had started having night terrors and not sleeping. Derek was getting into fights constantly and getting detention. David spent so much time in front of his television and his computer that you could barely call him sociable. It seemed like he always managed to say the wrong thing to whomever he met. Stan was just depressed. His parents were riding him hard that if his grades didn’t improve they were going to make him drop out to work with his dad in the mechanic shop he co-owned. He had become sarcastic as shit too, to everyone. Through all of this though, we still liked each other, and our group stayed together.
It was Friday October 31st and school was passing by quickly. We had all gathered for lunch and were talking about the plans for the night. We were too old to trick or treat but still had more fun than we wanted to admit coming up with costume ideas. Pierce had thought ahead though and scheduled a kind of fall festival thing at the church. It couldn’t really be anything about Halloween, but it was something to do together as friends.
“So what are you going as,” David asked me as he scooped what was left of his mashed potatoes up into the plastic spoon. David always ate too fast so he wouldn’t be late for class.
“Have to see after I stop by Wal-Mart, still trying to find gloves for one costume or might switch it up at the last minute.” Lying to them I realized how much everyone was going to like my costume, it was so simple but I had never seen any of my friends do it before.
“Still not saying what it is huh,” Brian said sitting down with us. In one hand his tray and in his other his unfinished math homework. “It isn’t a competition Jason.” This, coming from the guy who most thought it was.
Derek wasn’t paying attention. He had been looking over at Melanie Roberts for most of the conversation. Stan elbowed him in the side as he began talking, “not sure how long I’ll be able to stay.”
“What,” Derek asked with a double purpose.
“My dad,” Stan continued. “He doesn’t really even want me going, but my mom talked him into it. He said I can’t dress up unless it’s something from the bible. He’s really against Halloween.”
“Oh come on that blows.” “Yeah dude, no way I could do that.” David chimed in to agree with Derek. I remember wanting to say something about Stan’s dad, but in the end it was still his father and I wasn’t sure how he’d take it.
Brian looked over at David. “You still doing that Power Rangers costume you thought was so cool?”
“No,” David shot back. “I told you, I’m going as Optimus Prime. My brother is going to help me finish the shoulders when he gets off of work.”
Derek sighed at David before looking at the rest of us. “Isn’t there anything else going on?”
“You don’t want to go to the thing at the church?”
He looked at Stan. “There has to be something else going on tonight, right? I mean look at all of the people in this lunch room, they have to be doing something, have some sort of plan.”
“Yeah, they probably have stuff at their own churches,” I chimed in as I wiped my hands with the napkin, finished with the school pizza.
“No,” Derek almost coughed out, unsatisfied with my answer. “Like I don’t know, like a party or bonfire or something.”
We all looked at him for a moment but no one really had anything to add. Brian looked up at the clock and shoveled a last few spoonfuls into his mouth before standing.
“I need to go finish this math homework before Mrs. Schroder kills me. I’ll see you guys tonight.” We all nodded to him.
David was up soon after and waved goodbye as he went back upstairs. As I saw them walk away that was when the idea popped in my head. I looked at Stan who was trying to suck the last few drops from his bagged milk.
“Stan, you think your dad would let you spend the night at my house tonight? It’s not a school day tomorrow and my parents won’t care.”
“I don’t know, I guess I could ask my mom before dad gets home,” he sighed. “That is if he doesn’t call me down to the shop to help out.”
“What do you have in mind,” Derek asked interested.
“We can talk to the others. After the thing at the church we can hang out in the shed, play some games, do whatever.” I watched Derek’s expression fade, it wasn’t what he wanted.
“It’s something I guess.”
The rest of the day went by and I tried to think of something fun for us to do over the night. I loved scary movies and I liked watching David get scared watching them. We all liked video games but most of us got tired of David winning all the time. I wracked my mind on the bus ride home but part of me was actually excited to go to the festival at the church. I would get to hang out with the guys and the others there, free food and candy, hell I was never bored with the other guys around anyway.
I got home around 4:00, mom was still at work. I turned on the television as I put my costume together. I had been ready though and now found myself bored. After playing video games for a bit and making sure everything was set up in the shed with my brother’s stuff out of the way I decided to take a walk.
Leaves crunched beneath my tennis shoes as I made my way back through the woods behind my house. I had walked back that way a hundred times, I knew the path well and although I usually took the jaunt with someone else I couldn’t help but feel confident out there. I found a large stick that I was using as a cane, and to knock against the other trees as I went. We lived pretty far out down off of the highway and you couldn’t hear the cars from the woods. My favorite part was the small creek that ran through just before the sand pit.
I’ll never forget that feeling as I reached the creek that day. It was a little cool I guess but it was Georgia weather and sometimes it didn’t really get chilly until Thanksgiving. I felt a chill, a cold snap that caused me to shiver and shake for a few brief moments. It was pretty quiet until I heard a whir and a small splash into the water.
Across the creek and down a bit from me an old man sat on an old tree stump with a tackle box next to him and a new rod in his hand. I saw his white beard and wrinkled face under his faded green fishing cap with the wide floppy brim. I didn’t know him though and with the chill I had felt I wasn’t about to approach him. I knew people fished in this creek from time to time but this was the first time I had seen anyone doing it, especially alone.
I watched him for a moment before realizing he hadn’t seen me yet. Now I didn’t want him to, even though I had done nothing wrong and I was probably overreacting. When you are younger though, fear is nothing if not irrational. I turned to leave. I think he saw me but even if he hadn’t my pace quickened, wanting to escape like I had done something wrong to this man. As I went back intot he trees I looked over my shoulder at him, trying to see if he had noticed me.
That was when I saw the man in black for the first time. His face was obscured by the old man’s hat and several limbs from the near-by trees. The black jeans and pale skin of his arms against the dark clothes stuck out but I didn’t stop, I wouldn’t have. Whomever it was stood behind the old man off to the right a little bit. What was he doing there?
I saw him but it was out of my peripheral vision and I wasn’t sure if that could be trusted. I remember that was the first time I stood by myself in the woods so shaken. It was a feeling I would have the opportunity to become acquainted with again much too soon. My confidence had wheezed out of me with the lost breath. I turned and headed back home, so close to an outright run.
---
I was ready to go thirty minutes early. Mom apologized and we picked up fast food on the way to the church, with her work schedule that was becoming the norm to be honest. My mom, Lisa Harvey-Blunt, worked tirelessly as a supervisor for the cable company in town. She worked long hours and from what I could tell got little in return.
My dad wasn’t home, which was becoming a trend. He originally worked at a paper plant here in town but one day he was offered his dream to work in Major League Baseball. In High School he played baseball and tried to in college but had some sort of injury or something. Now he was a talent scout for the Atlanta Braves and was always having to leave. I had no siblings, and although my dad loved me, I don’t think I followed in footsteps as a wannabe baseball legend like he wanted to be.
Even though he was gone I think my parents still loved each other they had just become, different I guess. My mom would always speak about my dad in the past, never really in the present. When I started college they weren’t even sleeping in the same room. I think their dying within a month of each other though really cemented that thought in my mind that they did truly love each other, it was just, different.
After having eaten my cheeseburger and fries we arrived at the twin buildings of our quaint little church. As I got out of the car police sirens screeched by a few yards away from me, heading to some particularly more troubled spot in the neighborhood no doubt.
“To minister to those who need it, you must worship where the needy are.” I had heard pastor
It didn’t matter though, my friends were there and we could turn any situation into a fun one together, or so I thought at the time. The double doors of the fellowship hall opened to the sounds of some Christian rock song about zombies and Lazarus and the smell of the chemicals used the power the $29.95 sputtering fog machine from Wal-Mart. The stage lights had all been covered with orange and yellow filaments to change their color and give the hall more of a Fall feel.
The tables had all been moved from the center and along the walls different stations of candy, food, and activities had been set up. I smiled seeing my friends scattered across the different opportunities for us. Even Derek, who usually thought that the church set up things that were too juvenile for us, was smiling and seeming to have fun. Youth Pastor Pierce had really out-done himself this time.
As everyone saw me, one-by-one I say the guy’s facial expressions approving of my costume that I had kept secret from them. David, dressed as a cardboard Optimus Prime was the first to notice me.
“Oh that is so cool! Why did I not think of that,” his exclamation of effigy alerted the others who smiled or laughed and each gave their own remarks.
“You’re such a nerd,” Brian said laughing. “Actually I’m kind of jealous.”
His hobo costume was simple, inexpensive, but he had put work into it. The clothes he wore were intricately torn and dirtied as was his face with large smudge marks and a purposefully damaged cardboard sign that read “Will tell jokes for food”.
Derek was dressed as a baseball player. If my father would here he’d be more proud of Derek’s costume than my own. I am pretty sure Derek used to actually play baseball, so this wouldn’t have been too hard for him. The outfit looked complete though with a real baseball bat and helmet that he had either acquired or managed to keep from when he played. He had black lines under his eyes and several packs of Big League Chew he kept stuffing into his mouth to finish it all off. He gave my costume an approving nod and smirk as he pulled away from his conversation with Jessica.
“Always trying to show everybody up,” Stan said with a smile on his face. The comment seemed to be less of an insult from him, as he had no costume to speak of other than an Atlanta Braves Baseball cap that rested backwards on his head. He wasn’t kidding, his father hadn’t let him come in costume and I’m sure there were still some other words he chose to say to his son about coming to this thing.
Pierce had made it seem Halloween-esque still without anything that someone could particularly hone in on what made it feel that way. He was much more laid back than any of the other youth pastors the church had ever had. Everyone liked him more for it though, even a few of the parents, like Brian’s mom, who thought their children deserved the fullness of a rich childhood.
The girls finally approached. Dana looked as beautiful as ever. She was dressed as an angel, part of her costume from the play the church did last year. She had large paper white wings and a necklace that she borrowed from her mother. A gold painted halo rested itself on her head with the help of a bobby pin. Her brown hair was in one long braid that wrapped around her neck and hung over her left shoulder in front of her. I remember what made that costume perfect though was her smile. I could see her being a true angel.
“Cool costume,” She said being polite. I wasn’t sure if she knew what it was from or was placating, either way it sounded genuine.
“See, so now you’ll have to look at him all night.” I heard Brian’s words and was instantly. He was correct on his lore for my costume, but I was still getting used to the idea of girls like Dana paying me attention.
“True,” she said coyly, “unless I want to run away from him.”
Excited that she knew, at least from that comment, I put my white gloved hands over my eyes so that the drawn black and red expression was seen and I pretended to cower for a moment.
“Oh cool! She knows what you are.”
“I don’t, are you a retarded ghost?” Jessica’s question was probably defensive at David’s elation of Dana knowing what I was. I didn’t take it personally but I think she felt left out being the only one who didn’t get it.
“He’s a Boo,” Dana said looking at her friend.
“From Super Mario Brothers,” David finished. “You have to constantly look at them or they’ll attack you.”
Jessica ignored the young nerd’s spirited explanation and glanced at her friend as if mesmerized by her admittance to this piece of video game knowledge.
“I am babysitting after school you know, I play games with the kids.”
“Oh, cool I guess,” Jessica said to me in an attempt at recovery after seeing she was standing alone on that one. Jessica had come dressed as a princess, but she had chosen to spike her hair and make a few other accessory choices that caused me to be unsure of what she really ended up as.
On the other hand, I had known what I wanted to go as from the beginning. As soon as we all started talking about costumes back in September I knew mine had to be cool. I came up with the idea while cleaning up my room one day and used my dad’s shed to gather my materials and make it. I could have just thrown a white sheet over myself, drawn the face and called it a day. I didn’t want to do that though, I wanted the white gloves and white pants. I painted the face on so it would stand out more and made a couple of different versions until I found the one I liked. Then I used some old plywood pieces and cotton stuffing to make myself look like a plumped up Boo ghost. I even went as far as to find a white scarf to hide most of my face; I wanted as little skin showing as possible. I thought it added to the effect.
I had always liked making things with my hands thought. It’s probably why I became a carpenter. I liked impressing people with what I could do. Give me some raw materials and a place to work, I could build almost anything.
“Have you guys seen this food they made for you?” My mom’s voice broke in at the end of our conversation. We hadn’t, in truth we had been too busy focused on each other. There was food, music and games. A few other teenagers had wandered in from different churches or families that didn’t always come. I noticed Kevin, Skylar, Shepherd, another girl whose name I thought was Paula and her sister who was older. Chris, a guy who was in college by that point actually came up and complimented me on my costume. It felt good, I won’t lie. I looked up to Chris in a way. He had started his own car modification business with a friend while he was still in school. They would all trick out their cars and go hang out in this one area of town that they could race. Not sure why I thought that was so cool at that age, but I did.
“Mom said yes,” Stan said nudging me on the arm as we were in the line to get food. “I can spend the night; I just have to be back early tomorrow morning, in case my dad needs me at the shop.”
“That’s awesome,” I replied sincerely. “I’m surprised your dad is letting you.”
“I’m,” he paused, “not sure if my mom told him. This way she can say we decided here and he wasn’t around to talk about it, also her way of sticking it to him for not helping with this event.”
“Yeah, every other day he’s here as soon as the doors open.”
Stan made a face, “as long as this doesn’t cause them to argue.” He piled an extra slice of pizza on top of the other food on his plate; you’d have thought he never ate. “I think tonight will be a ton of fun though. Just us guys with the TV in your shed right?”
“Yeah,”
“Oh good,” He paused and something resembling a smirk crossed his lips as he tried not to laugh at the joke he had been setting me up for. “We were thinking you might try to invite Dana.”
“What,” I exclaimed as if the idea had never crossed my mind.
“Hey, Derek wouldn’t mind, and unless I’m remembering wrong I even think your best friend told you to ask her out.”
“Brian doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” My words sounded hollow, even to me. I saw Brian approaching and quickly changed the conversation by pulling him in. “Stan’s in for tonight, he can come.”
“Sweet,” Brian said, it was his never favorite word of the month, “didn’t see that one coming.”
Derek was over by Jessica, talking to her about her costume or something. I nodded to him and pointed at Stan to let him know what we were talking about. He mouthed the word ‘cool’ before going back to what he was doing. David was talking to Pastor Bell about his Optimus Prime costume and how he and his older brother made it. I did have to admit that he put a lot of work into it. We didn’t do anything like a costume contest but if we had, he probably would have won.
Pierce called us all up with the few others around our age. He had some series of overly simplified games for us to play for candy and small door prizes. Everyone took pictures of us in our costumes, they would go up on the bulletin board Sunday morning and there was one group picture of all of us that I really liked. I told my mother I wanted a copy of that one and I meant it, I still have that picture to this day. By the end of it everyone had gotten one though, all was fair and there was balance in our world. The music played on as we enJessicaed the different events of the night. As nine o’clock approached I overheard Pastor Bell and Pierce talking about the attendance and how it wasn’t quite what they were expecting. I made sure to tell Pierce how much fun I had before I left.
Half an hour later everyone was helping clean up. Most of the work was done so slowly all of us trickled outside into the parking lot under the bright street lamp. Dana had taken off her wings and Derek his helmet. I followed suit, glad to shed the extra weight and look semi-normal again. Dressing as a ghoul was fun but I was kind of glad it was one day a year. David was the last to start removing the excess parts of his costume, he was just too proud of it.
“That was fun,” I don’t know why I said it, perhaps to reaffirm to my friends what I had just told our youth pastor.
“Yeah I guess,” Derek’s words were quicker than expected but in truth they came as no surprise. “Now the real fun can begin.”
Jessica was quick herself. She picked up on a loose thread like a batting furious cat and began to unwind it with each pull. “Oh yes, now you boys can go hang out in Jason’s shed and what? Play video games? Look at magazines? Tell ghost stories to each other? You’re always so negative.” Had she just said the last part to Derek I might have agreed with her.
“What are you going to go do, your hair?” Brian was quicker to defend us than I was. His retort wasn’t the best thought out one but it was accurate. Jessica spent a lot of time trying to make herself look prettier, it was her hobby. Later I’d realize it was her attempt to compete with Dana, a competition that only she was aware of. “I think it’ll be sweet, and my mom always says kids our age need socialization.”
I always thought I was what kept our group together in the beginning. I arranged our hanging out and called everyone. I played mediator when two of us got into an argument and tried to keep Derek’s negativity, which Jessica was right he did have, in check. I didn’t realize until later thought that part of what made our group so strong was Brian’s levity. It was a trait that I had not mastered and one perhaps that he didn’t realize the truth importance of for us.
“I don’t think anyone was saying it wasn’t fun, I know I was glad to be here.” Dana spoke with the voice of reason, a voice that called my attention. I first met her here at church but Dana Crowne lived less than a block away from me in a cul-de-sac that overlooked the small man-made lake. I can’t say how many times we passed the house, or that I just thought about walking down there to see if she wanted to do anything. There was the fear of her Grandfather of course, but the captain wasn’t the only thing keeping me away, at that point though I couldn’t put it into words.
We talked for several more minutes about our night and not wanting to go back to school on Monday. Our discussion was abruptly stopped by the roaring choke of the old Ford truck’s engine rumbling into the parking lot. A hush fell over all of us as the night became louder with the sounds of the aged vehicle.
“Guess that’s my ride,” she said politely to exit the conversation. “Text me,” she told Jessica, who silently nodded, as she headed towards the truck with the cantankerous old man in the driver’s seat. His eyes seemed to be driving me back inside, like by standing outside of the house of God I was doing something I shouldn’t be.
We all said good night to Dana in one form or another, other than Jessica but it was a bit hollow. I still argue we weren’t afraid of him, but anyone outside of our group probably saw fear for what it really was. We watched as the truck drove off and sputtered down the decrepit road. There was a silence for a moment before someone spoke.
“He creeps me out,” Jessica said fixing her hair, “and he treats her like crap.” Her declaration was followed by another pause.
“Old dude needs to lighten up,” Derek spat out first.
David tried to play peacekeeper, “come on guys,” he always did, even though he didn’t really like the old man he didn’t want to see us upset. “We should probably go help finish cleaning up.”
“Someone needs to lighten him up,” Brian said agreeing with Derek’s notion.
Stan looked like he was about to say something along those lines as well but the side door swung open and his mother’s voice interrupted. She called him over to talk to him before she left.
“Let’s go,” Brian said. “Soon as we get cleaned up we can go hang out at your place.”
I nodded and headed back inside following Brian. David followed behind me but Derek stayed behind and exchanged some words with Jessica I didn’t hear. I guess it should have been no surprised those two got married, but I remember us all still being a tad surprised. I guess you’d just have to have seen the way everyone interacted with Jessica and Dana. They might have been friends but they were so different it almost hurt. Jessica was cynical and couldn’t care less what you liked or cared about unless she found a way to fit it into what she was doing.
Stan said goodbye to his mom as she left and the four of us went in and helped finish up the cleaning. We were happy to help because we knew it would give us more time doing what we wanted to do. Had we known what was to come, we wouldn’t have been so eager to leave.
No comments:
Post a Comment